Just when i thought i wanted to go vicom to get my IU inspected, or changed, i got a call frm work. "Hello Mr Asmin, can you come to work today?" Of course i said yes lah. The reason why it felt weird because its a Wednesday. Which is technichally a very short day.

Try recalling your primary school days. On a Wednesday what happens? I'll tell you. For pm session students. You still need to come at 12 but lessons only start at 1:30. Why?? Because all the teachers have a meeting during that time and we were either told to read quietly or watch a performance at the hall. Suddenly it starts ringing a bell huh.

So thats what happened. When most of the teachers had meeting. I and some of the teachers joined the students at the hall and watched this performance by some okto people. And looking at the time table 1:30-3pm is mother tongue. So lepak. Haha. I only start teaching at 3:30pm which was after recess.

My day got even better when i was approached by Miss Sahara(super hot) and she said that we're going to have a combined PE lesson because Aces day is around the corner. So the kids must get acustomed to the Aces day workout which for me is totally crap. Haha. I was trying so hard not to laugh looking at the video which the kids had to follow. Even Miss Sahara was trying to do the same. Its really funny. It was better when it was called the Big Singapore Workout back in our days. Haha.

So if you count i only had 4 periods. Which was 2 hours. Which equals to $65 to my bank account. There's also CPF contribution mind you. So its more. What a way to make $65 huh. Haha.

Tomorrow of course gt work but a little different this time. For Thursday and Friday i am given the am session instead. So its 7am-1pm. I said yes because its the fasting month and since i'll be awake at 5am. So why not. Just don't sleep after that. So yah thats it. And yeah can't wait for this Friday. Has really been a while since i met them. Peace =)

Appear 9:39 PM

So far i have only been to 3 out of the 5 terawehs. The lazyness is kicking in...sial ah..haha.
N im only done with juz 1 still 29 more to go. Mcm ner nk abes kn nie. Its hard to concentrate eventho the satans are locked up huh...If the satans are out...kiwak tk gerak aku rase..haha.

K lah have a good ramadhan all. Remember its only a month so make full use of it to do good =)

Appear 11:14 PM

Woah fasting starts tomorrow and teraweh starts tonite. Its so fast isn't it. Its always good when Ramadhan comes. Suddenly everyone tries to be a better person. Whether its sincere or not its up to urselves lah ehk.

I have a few goals that i wanna achieve in Ramadhan. Hope I can accomplish them. One thing i really wanna do is read the whole tafsir in the Quran. Cool kn..haha. Reading or katam Quran is one thing but what use if u dun understand it rite. Thats why thats my goal this coming month. Also I havent been working as much and i guess i have the time.

To all u out dere hope u have a blessed month ahead and hope all of us can get closer to god. Amin

Appear 4:21 PM

I personally don't believe in love for now. Even two of my closest friends feel the same way. We don't believe in love. Why? Because the three of us has been in the position where it promises so much and only to be heartbroken in the end. Like one of them said "Love is a scam". Weird but true...haha.

Lately I have been spending lots of money just for fun. Just for the sake of taking my mind off stuffs. I don't spend money on things like clothes or shoes but I prefer to spend it on food and entertainment. Because that way I'm occupied with stuffs to do and I don't have the time to thing about the past. Thanks all for being there when I need people to talk to or spend time with.

Technically my problems have not settled. Why? The simple fact she refuses to meet or even talk to me. A friend said "you don't even expect an answer because girls prefer to leave it hanging just like that". But why? Isn't it better to sort things out. That way if I happen to see you somewhere I would say hi. But by leaving things this way, if i see you somewhere, I would be dumbstruck because I don't know what to do and I would be disgusted looking at you and you would feel that same way also. I don't know if you are reading this but I hope you do.

On a brighter note, I didn't know I had so many readers on this blog...haha. And thanks to all for the care and concern. :)

I will be away for a few days. I'll be back by Wednesday probably in the afternoon. Hopefully over there I can clear my thoughts and come back a much happier person. I'm afraid that being over there will make me think too much which is not good or senang cakap jangan pk byk sngt...holiday tk gune sak otak sort..btol tk? We'll see how it goes.

Ok lah people will write when I come back ok. Till then.

Appear 9:48 PM

Today the 1st time in my entire life i feel that i have really lost my will to do anything. I feel so depressed so low in my life that i may not be the same anymore. Don't expect me to be happy or even smile any time soon. God i really feel like crying right now. I have fall so hard this time round. I can't believe I have let this stupid heart of mine control me that this happens. I can't believe I was so stupid.

I am so angry with myself. Of course what was i thinking!! She only regarded me as a friend, why did i fall and had feelings for her. I was there when she was at her lowest. She had major problems with the ex and needed a friend to confide to and comfort her. I was there giving her all the strength and trying to muster her courage that she need to carry on her life filled with problems.

Once her problems subsided we got really close. We msg and talked everyday and shared almost everything together. There were also the frequent meet-ups and we were happy. We got closer and the way we talked got more manje as it progresses. But i never told her that i liked her which my friends believe really cost me eventually. I planned to ask her out on a proper date on a saturday and there I tell her how i really feels about her. But something happened.

On the weekends she always go back kampong so i asked her if its okay if the next weekend she can not go kampong and go out wif me instead. She didn't reply. I waited till the next day and text her again n still no reply. And again the next day I asked what is bothering her till she doesn't even reply me. She said its nothing dun worry. I asked her then why the silence. She said she wanted a peace of mind.

Since that day a cold war broke out. I didn't talk to her. She didn't talk to me. Yesterday I couldn't take it anymore so i tried texting her asking her again what is going on and stuffs. Even that had no reply. I wanted to get to the bottom of it so i text her again. This time she replies she's sorry and she's caught up with things happening in her life. And she appreciates all that i have done for her. Not to worry about her because she's ok. Seeing someone who really understands and takes care of her all the time. Anything msg me kay. The highlighted part freaked me out. Is she referring to me or some other guy? I asked a friend he said she was referring to me 100% so I took his word.

At least she replied so I thought maybe we could start things out again. So today i text her asking how was her day. I waited and she didn't reply. Initially I didn't felt so bad because okay maybe need to give her time and all so no biggie. Then I found out big time. There is another guy! She already went out with him on the day that I wanted to bring her out. On top of that she wore makeup on that day which she rarely wore any. That showed that she really likes the guy and wants to look her best. The guy also shows lots of interest or just want to suck up by complementing how beautiful she looks again and again.

Finally all the question marks in my head are piecing up together. But probably one just remains, where the hell did this guy come from? Can't be in just one week she found someone else. Or has she been keeping it silent from me and I was too blinded to see it even when we were having our happy moments?

My god why is this happening to me? I know this is takdir and is fated to happen but why me? I am the good guy over here. I have even tried my hardest to bring myself closer to god trying to become a better Muslim. I took this quote from someone else's blog: Allah s.w.t does not gives us more than what we can handle. But i really feel that what had happened here is really more than I can handle. I have never felt so hearthbroken so badly that I have lost my energy and my will. I can't even go to sleep right now and its what 3am. Its been so long since i stayed up this late alone still typing on this laptop.

God please give me the strength and guidance that I need to claw myself out of this predicament. I want my life back. Now I feel so lifeless. Im like a walking skeleton with no feelings. I feel so weak. I need my friends to bring out the person that I am. Please don't desert me now.

As for you Im writing this post to: I really thought that this time it can work out between me and you. I still don't know why you did this to me. Atleast tell me earlier so I won't be so devastated. What was so hard to tell me the thruth? You told me you were my friend, why must you torture me like this till I found out for myself what was actually going on. I really really don't know what to do now. Do I let you go? Is that what you want? And who is that guy?? Just because he said you are beautiful a few times and you fall for him? I already told you the very first time I saw you I said you were beautiful. That has to meant more that his pity "soo....beautiful" "ur so beautiful". Lastly whatever happens here on. I will always remember you for the person you are. I may have lighted up your life but so have you. You have always entertained me for who I really am and I love to make you happy and see you smile.

If our path does crosses again I will sincerely take you up because I have never felt this way towards anyone else. Eventhough all these have happened I will never stop liking you. I wouldn't say that I hope you be happy with this guy because thats plain stupid. But whatever happens I do hope that you will be happy and if you ever wanted how things were before than I'll be more than happier to grant you that wish.

Appear 1:54 AM

Check this out!! Another bowling update. Well that's basically what's happening about my life right now. Haha. So here it goes yesterday was another bowling outing and the theme name was 'scandal'. You people would understand it soon enough. Our bowler names must have the word scandal to it. Get it? So here are the scores:


1st up was Isk aka Jangan Scandal with a total score of 135. This week his game was slightly off but still not a bad showing.
Next up was Dhuha with Tak Pernah Scandal scoring 144 pins. He scored 144 for two weeks in a row now. Consistency.
Lastly was me aka Kadang2 Scandal Ok Ah with a new record of 160. This score tops Isk's of 159 a mere 1 pin. But still new record goes to me!! Haha.

So there u have it. Next time the bar will be raised. My goal for now is to get the 180s score or better still not have any open racks anymore. Ok till the next bowling session. Peace ya'll =)

Appear 7:18 PM